|The Stilted Pavilion of Trowbridge moments before disaster struck.|
The decision was taken after local clubs had complained about injury and damage caused by the 28 stone umpire whose pre-match warm up routine consists of dancing to a Pipkins LP he plays on a portable gramophone.
Murphy fears that the ban will exacerbate his existing fitness problems and force a premature end to a distinguished 50 year umpiring career.
|Yeovil Gentlemen's Cricket Pavilion 2008. "They should have mentioned that they moved the mobile chip fryer into the umpires changing room," claims Murphy.|
"I would have thrown umpiring in forty years ago due to poor health were it not for a chance introduction to the Pipkins one fateful day at the Bristol Umpires Social Club. I was at a low ebb at the time, drowning my sorrows and writing my resignation letter, when Are You Cookin' Goose came on the jukebox - I immediately started tapping my feet.
"Until then I had never liked dancing but there I was, twisting away without a care in the world. The penny dropped - a little twisting before the start of play would help prolong my career. I sourced the Gimme Dat Ding LP and have been listening to the Pipkins ever since. It has kept me in shape and I keep the volume down to a reasonable level. I can't see what all the fuss is about?"
Doug Fitch, one of the committee members who made the decision, understands Murphy's frustration but says the time had come to take action: "We have received complaints about this for a very long time but there was a lot more serious harm involved last season.
"As a direct result of his dancing an eight year-old girl was knocked into an uncovered drain and nearly drowned, Bideford Country Cricket Club's free range pit bull terrier went mad and bit a tea-lady, Taunton's candlelit Wooden Pavilion was incinerated, and a member of the Fearnley Marsh Blind Cricketers XI was so disorientated that he mistook one of the Club's antique bombs for a ball. We had no choice but to act before anyone was killed."