Nightmare for family as umpire comes to stay

Young Toby Harrison's unusual hobby brought a nightmare for his unsuspecting family as a friendless umpire took advantage.
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On this day in cricket, 28 March 2002

Cricketer will not leave tour to attend childbirth

In a break from what is fast becoming a modern cricket convention, off spinner Harry Trapmoor will not return from the England A tour of Zimbabwe to attend the birth of his first child.

The decision by Trapmoor, who is unlikely to take part in England A's final match against the President's XI, has been applauded by those who fear impending fatherhood has become a "green-light" to abandon tours.

Such traditionalists will no doubt also take heart from Trapmoor's decision to remain in Zimbabwe when the touring party returns home next week.

"The manager of one of our hotels offered me a part-time job watering his favourite fig tree," said Trapmoor. "It is something I am vaguely interested in so I will give it a go for a bit. If things go well I might even stay on a little longer for the jam bottling season."

Despite his stance, Trapmoor refuses to altogether rule out the possibility of witnessing childbirth in the future: "If someone else's wife was having a baby and they asked me to go along in their place, to keep an eye on things - I'd be up for that."


Pleasure and frustration: a weekend at the Umpire Inn

The first hotel in the world to cater specifically to the needs of cricket umpires has received mixed reviews from a group of elite umpires.


Cricket official couldn’t stop freak accident

A Hoggshire League cricket official has defended his decision to leave his wife in a dangerous situation.


Rule change ends 125 years of cricket history

Hoggshire league side Plague Moor are changing a club rule that has stood for over 125 years. But not everyone is happy about it.


Veteran cricket umpire interrogated

A sixty-seven year-old cricket umpire became the focus of an intense investigation when he claimed he could milk cats.


Marriage, me, and the RSPB

He was the golden boy of Hoggshire cricket at a time when regional greats abounded. These days Boris Gripper is a recovering addict in a viewless room at Green Fountain Sanatorium.


Umpire's ordeal is "no joke"

"It was a funny old day" for Hoggshire league umpire 'Boring' Norman Makepiece. A bizarre sequence of events left him questioning his sanity ... but even worse news was to follow. However, in a PDCC exclusive, we ask: is it all a terrible misunderstanding?
Hoggshire League
Live Scores
Moth Meadow
Rickets Wood

Summerisle Strollers
West Crematorium

Green Fountain under 14s
Trench Lice

Cannibal Caves
Fish Sands

Tipside Tigers
Goats of Mendis Second X1

East Midden
Plague Moor

Kitten Sack Pond
Horse Field

Verruca Bath under 12s
Egg Thieves Rock

Leech Beck
Park Royal Pederasts

Bramble Park
National Socialists

Rillington Place Third X1
Nettles Green

Hoggshire Cricket News
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' Player power ' blamed for umpire's death
Illingworth imposter stole soup.
Umpire has matinee idol looks says sister
Twelfth man admits teasing fish
Club president swapped wife for a scratch card
PA announcer admits inciting riot
Rioters criticised for sparing Oval
Tributes paid to radioactive tea lady
Steward fined for saber tooth tiger hoax