On this day in cricket, 19 May 2005

Blind cricketers targeted by cruel conman

A callous conman took advantage of a blind cricket team , a court heard today.
Heartless crook Billy Pinch of Fatima Mansions, Hoggshire, befriended members of the East Midden blind cricket squad and sold them ' deluxe compact ' guide dogs at inflated prices - except there was a catch. The 'guide dogs ' were not dogs at all - but hamsters.
Wicketkeeper Ernie Pythian - who has been blind since birth - was taken in by Pinch and spent £100 on the 'dog'.
Pythian told the court : '' Billy Pinch told me and the others that these new micro guide dogs were specially designed for blind cricketers because they were small enough to fit in your pads , didn't bark when you were backing-up and were particularly cheap to feed. Sadly mine only lasted five minutes before a cat ate it. Others quickly realised that the ' dogs' had no road sense and at one point our entire team were unavailable after being run over by buses.''
Pinch denied the offence. '' I sold them in good faith. If I said they were dogs then it was a slip of the tongue. I meant to say hamsters.'' However the jury took only 15 minutes to find Pinch guilty of fraud.
In sentancing Pinch to death Judge Vadge told the 53 year old : '' you are career criminal with a long history of hamster - based deceptions.That one you sold me this morning could neither talk nor type and was a complete waste of money.Hanging is too good for you.'