News

Nightmare for family as umpire comes to stay

Young Toby Harrison's unusual hobby brought a nightmare for his unsuspecting family as a friendless umpire took advantage.
photo for this article

On this day in cricket, 6 May 1993

New signing swaps crime for cricket

Hoggshire league side Fish Sands unveiled new overseas signing Salty Jack Silver today
Silver is the first pirate to appear in the league and club chairman Maurice Mustard is delighted to capture the experienced sea-faring leg spinner.
'' It's a major coup for Fish Sands , '' said Mustard.'' We have known about Salty Jack for a long time now . In fact , he's been a bit of a nuisance over the years attacking our ships and stealing our rum. It will be good to have him where we can keep an eye on him.''
Silver himself is pleased to be given the chance to show what he can do on dry land .'' Oooh aaah me hearties.I be looking forward to getting me googlies flying ,'' cackled the 68 year old maritime thief.
The eye-patch wearing spinner has been cleared to play despite using his hook to grip the ball.
'' It's perfectly legal as long as he doesn't pick the seam with it, '' said Maurice Mustard .
'Fish Sands hook star player' Hoggshire Weekly News 11th May 1993



Opinion

Pleasure and frustration: a weekend at the Umpire Inn

The first hotel in the world to cater specifically to the needs of cricket umpires has received mixed reviews from a group of elite umpires.

News

Cricket official couldn’t stop freak accident

A Hoggshire League cricket official has defended his decision to leave his wife in a dangerous situation.

News

Rule change ends 125 years of cricket history

Hoggshire league side Plague Moor are changing a club rule that has stood for over 125 years. But not everyone is happy about it.

News

Veteran cricket umpire interrogated

A sixty-seven year-old cricket umpire became the focus of an intense investigation when he claimed he could milk cats.

Features

Marriage, me, and the RSPB

He was the golden boy of Hoggshire cricket at a time when regional greats abounded. These days Boris Gripper is a recovering addict in a viewless room at Green Fountain Sanatorium.

News

Umpire's ordeal is "no joke"

"It was a funny old day" for Hoggshire league umpire 'Boring' Norman Makepiece. A bizarre sequence of events left him questioning his sanity ... but even worse news was to follow. However, in a PDCC exclusive, we ask: is it all a terrible misunderstanding?
Hoggshire League
Live Scores
Trench Lice
16-1
-v-
Plague Moor

Leech Beck
44-4
-v-
National Socialists
0-8

Nettles Green
48-7
-v-
Rickets Wood
27-6

East Midden
36-7
-v-
Egg Thieves Rock

West Crematorium
21-0
-v-
Moth Meadow

Goats of Mendis Second X1
35-1
-v-
Fish Sands
6-0

Green Fountain under 14s
21-9
-v-
Cannibal Caves
9-0

Park Royal Pederasts
48
-v-
Bramble Park
46-3

Tipside Tigers
29-8
-v-
Horse Field
28-5

Rillington Place Third X1
41-8
-v-
Kitten Sack Pond

Summerisle Strollers
50-3
-v-
Verruca Bath under 12s
33-5

Hoggshire Cricket News
Steward fined for saber tooth tiger hoax
Umpire turns down East Africa appeal
Search for "vanishing" tea-lady intensifies.
Tea time bear stampede impresses Valerie Singleton
Giant spider invasion leads to fixture pile-up
' Player power ' blamed for umpire's death
Club president swapped wife for a scratch card
Bin Laden wanted ashes scattered at Grace Road
Kit Kat theft linked to tealady.
Girl in cellar was ' niece', wicketkeeper tells court