Nightmare for family as umpire comes to stay

Young Toby Harrison's unusual hobby brought a nightmare for his unsuspecting family as a friendless umpire took advantage.
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On this day in cricket, 23 April 2004

Umpire's heir inherits valuable estate.

When Hoggshire League umpire Harry Drizzle died last year his colleagues joked that some lucky beneficiary would reap the rewards of his notorious miserliness. The long-standing match official was known throughout the county for his penny- pinching ways.

But unfortunately Drizzle , 93 , had not made a will, and finding living relatives proved much more difficult than first thought. His estate , which included a property and over £500,000 savings , was in danger of being lost to the treasury unless an heir could be found.

The task of sorting out Drizzle's affairs fell to probate company '' Digger and Foat '' .

'' Drizzle was an only child of only child parents . He never married or had any children. We researched his family tree through all known records and couldn't come up with any living heirs. It all looked hopeless.'' said company spokesman Sid Digger

However , the company was in no mood to give up. They make their money by claiming a percentage of the estate and Drizzle's estimated £600,000 fortune was too valuable for them to let go.

'' We had to think out of the box ,'' said Digger. '' We all know that men are descended from apes , so it struck us that the oldest living monkey in the world must have some of Mr Drizzle's genes somewhere. Once we realised this the race was on to find that monkey.''
Within a few days the company had flown to Helsinki Zoo to visit Bobo - a 57 year old chimpanzee- and presented him with a cheque for £487,943; earning themselves over £120,000 in commission in the process.

'' A good result all round , '' said a satisfied Sid Digger .'' Bobo can spent his remaining years in comfort. He bought the zoo from it's present owners and let himself out. He's got himself a swanky bachelor pad , a new tea pot and the best bananas that money can buy. ''


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Hoggshire League
Live Scores
Summerisle Strollers
Park Royal Pederasts

Bramble Park
Fish Sands

Goats of Mendis Second X1
Moth Meadow

Horse Field
Trench Lice

Cannibal Caves
Nettles Green

Tipside Tigers
Plague Moor

Rickets Wood
East Midden

Kitten Sack Pond
Verruca Bath under 12s

Leech Beck
West Crematorium

Rillington Place Third X1
National Socialists

Egg Thieves Rock
Green Fountain under 14s

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Rioters criticised for sparing Oval
Scorer's body exhumed in missing pencil probe.
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Umpire blows fortune on wishing well