News

Nightmare for family as umpire comes to stay

Young Toby Harrison's unusual hobby brought a nightmare for his unsuspecting family as a friendless umpire took advantage.
photo for this article

On this day in cricket, 23 April 2004

Umpire's heir inherits valuable estate.

When Hoggshire League umpire Harry Drizzle died last year his colleagues joked that some lucky beneficiary would reap the rewards of his notorious miserliness. The long-standing match official was known throughout the county for his penny- pinching ways.

But unfortunately Drizzle , 93 , had not made a will, and finding living relatives proved much more difficult than first thought. His estate , which included a property and over £500,000 savings , was in danger of being lost to the treasury unless an heir could be found.

The task of sorting out Drizzle's affairs fell to probate company '' Digger and Foat '' .

'' Drizzle was an only child of only child parents . He never married or had any children. We researched his family tree through all known records and couldn't come up with any living heirs. It all looked hopeless.'' said company spokesman Sid Digger

However , the company was in no mood to give up. They make their money by claiming a percentage of the estate and Drizzle's estimated £600,000 fortune was too valuable for them to let go.

'' We had to think out of the box ,'' said Digger. '' We all know that men are descended from apes , so it struck us that the oldest living monkey in the world must have some of Mr Drizzle's genes somewhere. Once we realised this the race was on to find that monkey.''
Within a few days the company had flown to Helsinki Zoo to visit Bobo - a 57 year old chimpanzee- and presented him with a cheque for £487,943; earning themselves over £120,000 in commission in the process.

'' A good result all round , '' said a satisfied Sid Digger .'' Bobo can spent his remaining years in comfort. He bought the zoo from it's present owners and let himself out. He's got himself a swanky bachelor pad , a new tea pot and the best bananas that money can buy. ''



Opinion

Pleasure and frustration: a weekend at the Umpire Inn

The first hotel in the world to cater specifically to the needs of cricket umpires has received mixed reviews from a group of elite umpires.

News

Cricket official couldn’t stop freak accident

A Hoggshire League cricket official has defended his decision to leave his wife in a dangerous situation.

News

Rule change ends 125 years of cricket history

Hoggshire league side Plague Moor are changing a club rule that has stood for over 125 years. But not everyone is happy about it.

News

Veteran cricket umpire interrogated

A sixty-seven year-old cricket umpire became the focus of an intense investigation when he claimed he could milk cats.

Features

Marriage, me, and the RSPB

He was the golden boy of Hoggshire cricket at a time when regional greats abounded. These days Boris Gripper is a recovering addict in a viewless room at Green Fountain Sanatorium.

News

Umpire's ordeal is "no joke"

"It was a funny old day" for Hoggshire league umpire 'Boring' Norman Makepiece. A bizarre sequence of events left him questioning his sanity ... but even worse news was to follow. However, in a PDCC exclusive, we ask: is it all a terrible misunderstanding?
Hoggshire League
Live Scores
Summerisle Strollers
33-2
-v-
Park Royal Pederasts
20-8

Bramble Park
48-4
-v-
Fish Sands

Goats of Mendis Second X1
4-3
-v-
Moth Meadow
3-4

Horse Field
43
-v-
Trench Lice

Cannibal Caves
32-2
-v-
Nettles Green
25-1

Tipside Tigers
15-3
-v-
Plague Moor
12-9

Rickets Wood
39-8
-v-
East Midden
29-0

Kitten Sack Pond
6-7
-v-
Verruca Bath under 12s
3-3

Leech Beck
22-1
-v-
West Crematorium

Rillington Place Third X1
24-6
-v-
National Socialists
18-3

Egg Thieves Rock
13-4
-v-
Green Fountain under 14s

Hoggshire Cricket News
Illingworth imposter stole soup.
Girl in cellar was ' niece', wicketkeeper tells court
Club president swapped wife for a scratch card
Umpire turns down East Africa appeal
Fielders told to keep pets off pitch during play
The ' crazy world ' of Arthur Brown
Rioters criticised for sparing Oval
Scorer's body exhumed in missing pencil probe.
Umpire has matinee idol looks says sister
Umpire blows fortune on wishing well